My reflections from Brene Brown’s Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count
(Brene’s speech linked in the video below)
3 Things The Sweaty Creative Must Understand
1.) “It’s not about winning. It’s not about losing. It’s about showing up and being seen.
2.) If you’re going to show up and be seen, there is only one guarantee. That is…you will get your a** kicked!
If you are going to go in the arena and spend any time in there, whatsoever, especially if you have committed to creating in your life, you’re going to get your a** kicked!
So, you have to decide–if courage is a value we hold, this is a consequence. You can’t avoid it.
3.) If you’re not in the arena (also getting your a** kicked), I’m not interested in your feedback. Period.”
Brene stresses a few key tips for dealing with your critics.
Reserve Seats For Your Critics
Wild, but listen to her in the video below. It makes sense.
Brown’s recommendations are to reserve seats for “the critics…
4.) and one more–you can name it.”
Brown encourages us to,
“Say to them, I see you. I hear you. But, I’m going to show up and do this anyway. I’ve got a seat for you. You’re welcome to come, but I’m not interested in your feedback.”
Two Important Seats
Brene also reminds us to reserve TWO very important seats for…
1.) Clarity of your VALUES
2.) Someone who will pick you up when you fall. If you’re not falling short, you’re not showing up! “This seat is for someone who loves you BECAUSE OF your vulnerabilities and imperfections. You must have that ONE someone in your life and they need a reserved seat.”
One More Seat
Last, Brown says,
“Reserve a seat for YOU!”
Believe in yourself! This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by George Couros,
“As you push the edges of the norm with your innovative ideas, hold onto your conviction and passion. If you don’t believe in your idea, why would anyone else?”
My friend, Carrie Baughcum, shared this video with me this morning via Voxer. I couldn’t help but tear up as I listened to Brene’s speech. WOW! This video might be from the year 2013, but it is exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it.
I’ve been sick for about five days now with this ridiculous fever, and if you know me at all…you KNOW I hate slowing down! However, over the last few days, I’ve tried to write but my mind can’t formulate a thought to save my life. It’s driving me batty!
Sometimes, I think we get knocked down to remind us who is in the arena.
Every minute of the below video struck a chord inside my heart.
With or without this sickness in my body, I’m terrified to publish my first book. Yet, I know deep in my soul, I have a story to tell that will help others. Some days I feel so confident. Other days, I listen to the fear inside my head and fight the tears that threaten to leak from my eyes claiming I’m not good enough.
Then, there are days I attempt to quiet my wondering mind from the
“What if this…or what if that…”
“There’s so much of your personal life intertwined in this message, how is that supposed to help others?”
“Who’s to say you’re an overcomer? You still have these thoughts.”
At those moments, the same fear that tried to paralyze me as a little girl tries to tie up my fingers and stop the typing of chapters.
But, if I value courage and bravery, I have to walk up the stairs and get in that dang arena.
Will I get my butt kicked? YES! It’s ok; I’ve taken a number of beatings. I know how to stand back up and keep fighting. I didn’t overcome by standing on the sidelines.
So, I’ll reserve seats for my critics and fight! That’s what I was born to do.
Thank you, Brene. I’m a Sweaty Creative, and I needed this today.
Thank you, Carrie, for listening to your heart and sharing this video with me. I wrote a whole chapter in my manuscript–even with this yucky fever. BAM!
TMM is standing up to fight; knocked down but not out.